You Are Never Alone

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Preface

This project evolved from a personal journey that I never intended to take—the diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer. I offer it as a traveling companion for all women who walk that challenging path. My hope is that it will serve as an accessible friend and personal support group for the more than two million women who live with breast cancer, including the additional 260,000 who were diagnosed in 2003. Its conversational prayers and meditations for specific situations—from diagnosis to surgery to aftermath—and its information about religious communities that pray for women with breast cancer provide a haven of security and comfort.

You Are Never Alone is a constant companion for the patient with breast cancer—in the middle of the night, in the midst of treatment, midway through a busy day—any time the reality of her situation floods her being with uncertainty and fear. The colloquial nature of the prayers that are included stems from my profound belief in a personal God who hears prayer and who maintains a constant presence in our lives.

After my diagnosis of breast cancer, I realized that the most difficult part of the journey was the feeling of traveling down an unfamiliar and frightening road alone. My spouse’s support was unwavering, my children and friends rose above and beyond, but there were still times when I was overcome with dread, especially at night during those stark hours that challenge the clock. I searched for uplifting reading material to ease my anxiety. I wanted to pray, but sometimes struggled to find the right words or the written prayers for my specific situation. I longed for simple meditations to focus my energy on healing. Ultimately, I felt called to create a resource that would address those needs and fulfill them with compassion, candor, and simplicity. I hope that I have achieved that goal.

These prayers and guided images were written in a style that is comfortable for me. If the wording feels cumbersome or uncomfortable in any way in any prayer, I encourage women who read this book to substitute words that are familiar and feel right to them. Make the prayers your own by tailoring them to your individual needs.

Shortly after my breast cancer diagnosis, a friend created a prayer chain for me. She contacted friends who agreed to pray at specific times of the day and even located a few selfdescribed insomniacs who volunteered to pray during the night. Knowing that I was receiving constant prayer moved me beyond measure. I knew that God was always with me, and the reality of having people praying for me filled me with relief and gratitude. By sharing information about groups who pray unceasingly, You Are Never Alone provides readers with deeply comforting knowledge that they are being remembered in prayer at all times of the day and night. They will know, beyond a doubt, that they are never alone.

My head and heart were both attuned to the powerful physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual benefits of prayer. I knew from personal experience that prayer reduced my feelings of powerlessness over situations that were beyond my control. The act of praying—of doing something—transforms us from passive to active, from acceptance to engagement. Focus can be contained rather than scattered. Prayer—be it for a decrease in fear or an actual cure—has the ability to channel energy in a concrete way that anchors us when we feel adrift. I found prayer to be an enormous source of comfort.

Prayer also greatly increased my sense of hope. It uplifted and encouraged me during this difficult time. When we say a prayer of petition, we declare our belief in the possibility that our situation will improve. Research studies consistently show that the expectation of a favorable outcome or an optimistic outlook enables people to weather setbacks more effectively. Prayer helped me to cultivate optimism.

People who pray regularly report enhanced feelings of well-being and life satisfaction. They derive deep satisfaction from a focused and intentional connection with the Divine. They are joined to something much bigger than themselves, and this brings an expanded perspective to their lives. When I prayed, I no longer felt isolated, alienated, or alone. Rather, I gained an ongoing sense of the presence of God.

The medical benefits of prayer were important to me, too. I read about some of the research from prestigious medical schools about the positive effects of prayer. A widely publicized study about the effects of intercessory prayer (praying for someone) at San Francisco General Hospital concluded that CCU patients who were prayed for—unbeknownst to them or staff—required less medication and fewer breathing tubes. A Duke University study of 1,700 older people revealed that people who attended weekly church services had lower levels of interleukin-6, a protein inked to age-related disorders.

A 1995 study from Dartmouth College monitored 232 patients after open-heart surgery and concluded that people with deep religious connections and social support had a six-month survival rate that was 12 times higher than those who did not. In a Georgetown University Medical School study, patients with rheumatoid arthritis reported physical, emotional, and spiritual improvement after four days of intercessory prayer. I was especially interested in a study of women with breast cancer that was conducted at the University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio. The researchers concluded that “religiousness” contributed to hope, a primary coping tool for cancer. Prayer helped me to feel like I was collaborating in the healing process.

Despite the many benefits of prayer, it does not guarantee a physical cure. That is a sensitive issue. There is a fundamental difference between curing—the elimination of the disease—and healing—a restoration of balance among mind, body, and spirit. Although it is more common to petition God for a cure, we know that does not always happen. There are many cases where symptoms remain, but healing is evident in the form of peace of mind, renewed energy, and increased perspective. I found it important to keep in mind, and to appreciate, that the benefits of prayer can occur at several levels. That awareness motivated me to include a spirit of gratitude in every prayer.

You Are Never Alone is more than a collection of prayers and meditations. It is a heartfelt mission. When adverse events slam into our lives, after our initial reaction, we must choose how to use the experience. This book gleans the good from a stressful and frightening process and offers it to other women as a source of en-couragement, fellowship, and strength. No woman with breast cancer needs to feel isolated by fear and uncertainty when she can reach for You Are Never Alone. She can select relevant and encouraging prayers for her specific circumstances, focus her mind on calming meditations, and consult the resource section if she wishes to connect with religious groups and place prayer requests for herself and/or other women with breast cancer. Each reader should be assured and may take comfort from knowing that I visit these sites on a regular basis and request prayers for all women with breast cancer, so at any given time—day or night—one or more members of these organizations is lifting her up in prayer.

I offer my ongoing and heartfelt prayers for all women whose lives have been affected by breast cancer. May God bless you with abundant comfort, compassion, and healing on each step of your journey.

Maureen Murray