Silver Linings: The Other Side of Cancer

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Preface

Introduction

Silver Linings: The Other Side of Cancer is a unique book that shares the insights and comforting words of people who have experienced cancer. As oncology nurses, we've seen how the dark cloud of cancer often holds a silver lining -- lessons learned through the cancer experience make life easier, richer, happier, and more meaningful. The stories describe the lessons that helped survivors through their darkest moments to find new perspectives on life that led to peace, serenity, and even joy. Their messages provide insight on ways to cope effectively and transcend the cloud of cancer.

The stories are written by people from all walks of life, demonstrating that cancer shows no respect for age, gender, social class, or race. Silver Linings stories are grouped into seven chapters based on the main theme of the story. The editors have tried to keep the authors' narratives intact as much as possible to maintain the full intent of their messages; however, they have edited stories to enhance clarity and to meet space requirements. Stories are adorned with illustrations or quotes to highlight or enhance the focus of the story.

The first chapter, "Caught in the Storm," identifies the initial battle with cancer and the patterns of healing that follow. One survivor writes, "After I was diagnosed with breast cancer, there were so many things that I saw differently; yet, nothing about them had actually changed! I had changed. Although I didn't look different, I was profoundly different. I mean, how could I not be? A person cannot face a potentially fatal disease and not be somehow changed." Another writes, "My cancer reinforced some of my deepest valuesor it was a powerful confirmation of what really matters in life. I say embrace Life and not Death." They are stories of finding new strengths and continuing life with a new enthusiasm.

The second chapter, "Love: The Best Umbrella," deals with enhanced romantic love or love of friends and others. One writer describes how devastated she felt following a mastectomy, yet how very loved she felt after hearing her husband's healing words: "There is nothing that couldmake me stop loving you. You are the love of my life!" Others describe the love they felt from others who reached out to them in time of need.

One author writes, "My most glowing silver lining is the renewed closeness, depth, and mutual appreciation that has developed between me and those dearest to me." She adds, "Whatever happens in the future, I will go forward knowing that I am loved, I have touched and been touched by many lives and loves."

The chapter "Family Ties Reach Beyond Gray Skies" describes the new strengths that can develop within families as a result of experiencing the many life changes from cancer. One writer states, "Cancer teaches a family how to react to the valleys in life"; others describe how a family may be fortified by the cancer experience. Another story reveals how priorities may change: "Times with family members are irreplaceable and the stuff my happiness is made of. Now I try to make these opportunities rather than wait for them to happen."

As those with cancer reach out to others who have gone through similar experiences, they often find a revitalized strength through newly formed friendships with fellow travelers on the road of cancer or others who have reached out to offer help. The fourth chapter, "Personal Connections: A Guiding Light Through the Cancer Experience," focuses on these connections. As one writer expresses, "I think sometimes it is harder to be the one who loves the patient than to be the patient. The role of standing by is a difficult one. I realize what a gift it was to others when I permitted them to assist me. Preparing a meal, washing clothes, car pooling, sending a cardall of these tangible signs of love and intention connected us together." Emerging groups are using the Internet to reach out to others with cancer through new technologies. Another author encouraged others to "just reach out, turn on your computer, and open up a whole new world!"

Chapter 5, "Style and Wit: A Compass Toward Healing," is filled with humorous stories and quotes from those who have discovered wit to be one of their greatest assets. "Humor can hasten the healing"; "When anger and pain mount, one gentle nudge from humor restores balance. In a very profound way, humor makes life worth living." These words come to life in stories such as the tale about the man who was embarrassed about having to undress in front of the female radiation technicians during his treatments. His wife and friends came to the rescue, and each of his radiation treatments triggered laughs by the staff and other patients. Please read about how he dealt with his embarrassment in a humorous way to help him gain control of the situation.

Chapter 6, "Cherish the Rainbows," provides valuable lessons for everyone as it points to the importance of appreciating each moment of our lives. One contributor states, "Early in life, my mother taught me about the quest for silver linings: It is both a skill and a mental attitude. Cancer's silver lining is that it fuels our hunt for other silver linings more intensely than ever." A 12-year survivor of breast cancer explains, "Illness is a great teacher. I have learned to be kinder to myself." Another author shares these thoughts: "My days are no longer ordinary. They are bright and full of new and exciting things. Cancer takes ordinary people and teaches them to be extraordinary. I am now a cheerleading squad of one that cheers and encourages other survivors to be all they can be."

The final chapter illustrates what is, for many, the heart of the cancer experience. Throughout many of the stories in "Spiritual Discoveries: The True Silver Lining," the substance of faith comforted and sustained many patients and families when everything else seemed bleak and hopeless. One young survivor writes, "In the big picture, we are but a heartbeat on a planet of billions. Don't tolerate small complaints such as the sun not coming out. Sometimes it is just hidden. Sometimes the love of God is hidden, too." A bone marrow transplant survivor described her feelings: "I was supported on a cushion of prayers offered by family, friends, and people I did not even know. I have learned to more fully and deeply appreciate the meaning and possibilities of my life."

Silver Linings is a beautiful book of radiance; it is richly illustrated in colorful and creative art woven from the illustrator's and the authors' lives. These are encouraging stories of triumph, miracles, families rebuilding their lives, humor, and people finding strength and faith they never knew they had. There are few simple answers in life. These touching, moving stories reveal the steps along cancer's stormy pathwaysteps that can lead others to look for and find the glints of light and hope that are the silver linings of life in the dark clouds of cancer.

Most problems pale in comparison to the battle that has been fought with cancer. Thus, there is not only the improved ability to place things in their proper perspective but also the comfort of knowing that a tough challenge is not the worst thing in the world. Discovering one's own inner resources is empowering.

Jane Llewellyn, DNSc, RN
Nurse administrator and breast cancer survivor
Illinois